Dinnertime at the Brotherhood House
by Red Witch
Summary: The Brotherhood have a 'family' dinner. If you are looking for happy family bonding, go read another fic. If you are looking for insanity at the dinner table go right ahead!


**I don't own any X-Men Evolution Characters. Sorry. More nonsense that came into my brain. **

**Dinnertime at the Brotherhood House**

"I don't believe it," Mystique groaned at the hole in the wall. "This is the third one this week! Agatha I thought you had Wanda under control!"

"Hey don't blame me!" Wanda snapped. "Blame Blobbo and Toad for playing football in the living room!"

Todd's feet stuck out of the wall. "I'm okay," He said weakly. 

"We were not! It was an accident," Fred whined. "Toad wanted a sponge to wipe something, that's all. I didn't mean to throw so hard!" 

"Oh yes," Mystique groaned. "Now I remember why I didn't come back right away. It's all coming back now." 

"Somebody's gonna get it!" Wanda snickered at them. 

"Shut up!" Fred pouted. 

"Never mind," Mystique groaned. "What's one more hole around the place? I mean you morons have already trashed it! I've come to the conclusion that you idiots cleaning up my house is even more dangerous than simply living in it!" 

"Hey can we have some pizza or something?" Lance asked. "I'm getting hungry."

"Yeah, Boss Lady can't we get some grub?" Pietro asked.

"No need. Agatha's cooked us a nice dinner," Mystique told them. "Come on, let's go into the dining room…what's left of it and eat." 

"What'd she make us yo?" Todd asked.

"Witches' Brew most likely," Pietro sniggered. Wanda clipped his ear. "OW!" 

"Watch it!" Wanda steamed. 

"All right that's enough!" Mystique snapped. "You two behave yourselves and that goes for the rest of you! Now we are going to sit down and eat dinner in a semi-civilized fashion! I know it's impossible for you oafs to be completely civilized but you are going to try! You will eat her food without complaint and like it! Got it?" 

"No problems with me," Fred shrugged. "I'm not picky."

"There's a revelation," Mystique snapped. 

"Why can't we just eat in our rooms?" Lance asked.

"Because we are a team," Mystique said in her 'I am Getting A Headache' Voice. "And as a team we need to learn to interact with each other without causing property damage. If we can sit down and have a meal together without killing each other I will be happy. You don't want to make me unhappy. Understand?" 

The Brotherhood nodded nervously. "Good," Mystique sat down at the table. "Pietro, set the table please." 

Pietro nodded and used his super speed to set the table. He even added candles and flowers. "All done!" He smiled. 

"Good," Mystique smiled. "Now sit down and Agatha will serve the meal."

"What are we having yo?" Todd blinked as she came in with a large stewpot.

"An old family recipe," Agatha told him. "One of my stews." 

"Not one word Pietro!" Wanda glared at him.

"Hmmm," Todd took a huge whiff. "It smells good yo. Yummy yum, yum, yum! Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum…" 

Mystique thwacked him with a wooden spoon. "OW!" Todd yelped rubbing his head. "What? I was being nice for crying out loud! You told me to be nice and I was nice and you hit me! What did you do that for? I was trying to be good!" 

"Will you just shut up!" Mystique hissed. 

"I was just trying to give her a compliment," Todd muttered. "Didn't have to hit me." 

"Oh I am looking forward to this," Lance grumbled. "Some nice family dinner. We can't even make a compliment without getting hit." 

"Raven!" Agatha warned as Mystique reached over to hit Lance. "Don't." 

"But they…" Mystique started. 

"If you treat them like animals they will behave like them," Agatha told her. 

"You haven't seen them eat yet," Mystique told her. "Trust me, they are animals!" 

"Raven," Agatha had a tone in her voice. "I have kept silent so far, but I do not think it is right for you to hit them over any little thing."

"Right on lady!" Lance said. "Hey maybe she ain't so bad after all!" 

"Mystique's in trouble," Fred giggled.

"You shut up!" Mystique snapped making a fist. 

"Raven!" Agatha said. "How do you expect for Wanda to control herself if she sees you acting like this? As leader you need to set a better example for her."

"Oh yeah I really need her for a role model," Wanda grumbled. 

"Fine," Mystique snapped. "Fine. No more hitting at the dinner table."

"She's always hitting me for no reason," Todd muttered. "Every time I ask her a question she picks on me. Even when I try to be nice she hits me. Or throws me around. Or yells at me. I can't even give her a compliment without her…OWWW! Agatha! SHE KICKED ME!" Todd pointed to Mystique. 

"Did not," Mystique snapped.

"Did too!" Todd made a face at her.

"Did not you little liar!" 

"I am not lying! You kicked me!"

"I'm gonna…" Mystique growled.

"QUIET!" Agatha shouted. "Both of you! Raven you are acting worse than they are! Apologize!" 

"But he…" Mystique protested.

"NOW!" Agatha glared at her.

"I'm sorry," Mystique said simply. 

"That didn't sound very sincere," Todd remarked. 

"Why you little…" Mystique snapped. 

"Raven!" Agatha snapped.

"Hey Agatha maybe you should teach Mystique here some of those anger management techniques you've been showing me?" Wanda snickered. 

"Why you ungrateful…" Mystique started to say. Then she caught herself. "No…no you're right Agatha. I should be an example for them. I will no longer stoop to their level. Fine. Let's start over shall we?" She forced her composure to be the very model of decorum. "Let's have our meal now shall we?" 

Agatha poured out the stew and passed out the biscuits. They started to eat. 

"Hey you know for nasty looking stuff this tastes good!" Lance said with his mouth full. 

"Biscuits are great!" Todd gulped one down after grabbing it with his tongue. 

"Toad how many times have I told you, no tongue at the table!" Mystique groaned. 

"Hmmm, Good," Fred gulped his down. 

"Oh for crying out loud Blob do you have to slurp?" Mystique shouted. "I've seen pigs with better manners. Don't know why I don't simply pour all the food in a trough and let you feed from there!" 

"Man I haven't had decent food in years," Wanda gulped down her food hungrily. 

"Not to mention any lessons in table manners," Mystique groaned as she saw that Wanda was eating her food with the same relish as the rest of the Brotherhood. 

Fred chuckled at this. "What are you laughing about Wide Load?" Wanda snapped, throwing a roll at him. 

"Hey!" Fred snapped. "Cut it out!" 

"No!" Wanda threw another roll at him. 

"Stop it!" Fred snapped back. "Mystique she's throwing stuff at me!" 

"I should have listened to Lance and let them eat in their rooms," Mystique groaned. "Wanda knock it off!" 

"He's annoying me!" She snapped.

"You're all annoying me," Mystique snapped. "Knock it off!" 

"You shouldn't yell at the dinner table," Todd told her. "It's bad manners." 

"What do you know about manners? You don't have any!" Mystique snapped.

"Yes I do!" Todd looked at her. "I say hello and goodbye and sometimes please and when I see dead things lying around the house I bury them." 

Mystique, Agatha and Wanda looked at him and then they looked at the others. "It's true," Fred nodded energetically. "He does." 

"I'm not even gonna ask," Mystique groaned.

"Hey Mystique," Wanda said. "Have I told you how much I appreciate you springing me out of the asylum and bringing me here to this one?" 

"Lance what are you doing?" Pietro asked as he watched Lance poke his stew.

"I'm looking for the bat wings," Lance remarked. 

"THAT'S IT!" Wanda snarled. "YOU ARE SO DEAD!" She started using her powers and the lights flared. Everything in the room started flying. She then tackled Lance. Pietro and the others tackled them and soon a full-scale brawl broke out. Agatha and Mystique watched in horror as food, furninture and insults flew everywhere.

"Excuse me," Agatha left the table. "I have some wine in my room that's calling my name. You can join me if you like Raven." 

"My house is never going to be the same again," Mystique groaned as she got up. "Maybe I should just get a match and get the insurance money." She looked around. "Who am I kidding? I wouldn't get a dime for this dump!" 


End file.
